The Reason Why

April 28th, 2008

I simply have to put this comment from Trish up front and center.

My 9 year old daughter (who always showed an interest in science) has spent this year struggling with the “tween syndrome” of her friends thinking her interests are “uncool”. After showing her your podcasts, she has discovered that it is not only possible but very rad to be both smart and interested in science but to like fashion and lip gloss at the same time. She even did her science fair project on water based on a recent pop siren episode! (I plan on emailing the pop siren’s a picture!)
So, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! If I could send you flowers I would. You are not only a rock star to my kid, you helped bring her back from Hannah Montana hell! :)

Thank you, Trish, for sharing. I hope you don’t mind that I brought your comment to the front. This is why I want to keep doing what I do. Girls need to know that it is ok to be smart and a girl. Somewhere along the way it seems that the idea was spread that if you are a girl and interested in science, you shouldn’t act like a girl, shouldn’t play with make-up and clothes, put away your curling iron, and just do science. While some girls might find that a relief, many more really enjoy the girlie things in life. Either one should be ok, as long as you’re doing what you enjoy.

I was recently chided for being too sexy (a comment that I found hilarious). The commenting party suggested that because I use a nice looking profile picture I am being disingenuous. It’s sad that some people see it that way. Should I instead find a picture in which I purposefully look comely, “nerdy”, or unapproachable? Should I do away with the profile picture in preference of an ungendered symbol?

I think either tack would do a disservice to females everywhere. A “nerdy” picture or a neutral symbol would promote stereotypes, and undermine the work that I’m trying to do to show girls and women that they can be anything they want, make-up or no. I doubt I would have made much of an impression on Trish’s daughter that way.

Besides, I like playing with my hair and make-up, and feeling fancy from time-to-time. I’m fancy on the inside, and my exterior should reflect that. When I know I look good, I feel good about myself, inside and out, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Trish, I can’t wait to see the science project picture. I know all of us at PopSiren will be thrilled. Tell your daughter that she’s totally rad.


14 Responses to “The Reason Why”

  1. Corey J Feldman on April 28, 2008 1:51 pm

    Good for you. As a former teacher I applaud the effort. I saw too many female students play dumb to fit some sad “ideal.” I don’t get it. Smart is sexy.

  2. Chris on April 29, 2008 12:25 pm

    I am the proud father of a 3.5 year old girl, and I have to admit, I dread the “brain-drain” trend of teenage girls. I saw it happen to three sisters and I simply can’t have it happen to my daughter. But what to do? This post sheds some wonderful light on the issue. We need more women who are both girly and brainy. I feel that this sort of thing would make far more impact than me huffing and puffing about how brains are sexy…

  3. Joan on April 29, 2008 6:34 pm

    You hit the nail on the head here. I saw that original tweet and as a woman, it made me pretty angry. That particular person took a few seconds to look at one picture, used less than 140 letters to insult your character and reveal himself to be a jerk, then needed hundreds of words to explain why he wasn’t really being an unmindful jerk, he just had a “different perspective!” He didn’t apologize, either. I have to say, I think you took it better than I would have.

    If only you’d been around when I was a kid, maybe I’d have studied natural science! When I was a young girl, I didn’t have actual science/tech role models to look up to. Heck, I didn’t even have fictional ones. When I started college, I began watching TechTV and The Screen Savers. To see intelligent women like Jessica Corbin, Sarah Lane, Megan Morrone actively and unapologetically displaying their intelligence was a breath of fresh air. I was sad to see them go, but I’m excited to see them back with new media.

    Keep up the good work!

  4. Jeff McCord on April 29, 2008 10:52 pm

    Bravo to this awesome Mother and to Dr. K for showing us this post. As a son, my Mother is smart and beautiful and even though I’m a boy commenting about a “girl/woman” topic, it’s a fight that both sexes fight. There’s nothing wrong with being smart and having fashion. There’s nothing wrong with being smart and wanting to look MOXIE.

    Being smart is what makes a person, in my opinion, go far in this life as we all know, looks fade… but having MOXIE (fashion sense w/ intelligence) is something that will never go away!

    Bravo! I praise you women!!!
    Jeff McCord
    http://www.jeffmccord.org

  5. Trish on April 30, 2008 10:37 pm

    Sheesh, If I would have known my comment would make your front page I would have proof read it better! I showed your blog to my daughter (Caitlin) and she turned bright red and couldn’t stop smiling..a rarity! She couldn’t wait for me to show her dad, grandma and teacher and called her best friend. I loved seeing how excited she could get from the validation that you spoke of.
    Tomorrow is the science fair (you get a very nice write-up on her acknowledgments page, btw) and I will be taking pictures to email.
    Also, yesterday I asked her what she wanted for her birthday later this month. She said a hamster and a LAB COAT!
    I guess she wants to start a fashion trend in 4th grade science lab!

  6. Mark on May 1, 2008 6:13 am

    Hey again Dr Kiki,
    Yes, thank you so much for doing your part to break this awful stereotype. In that show Big Bang, they have the typical genius nerds with no social skills and the hot chick who is nearly brain dead; BUT with you we get the genius nerd who is the hot chick. Brilliant

  7. az on May 2, 2008 7:07 pm

    What the heck does ‘too pretty’ mean anyway? I’d love to do make fun of this from a plethora of philosophical paradigms – they’ll all lead to the same place – it’s okay to be who you are… and be good at science or whatever else you do. Conformity is Way over-rated… ‘been there, done that.

    But I will wax philosophical on this one observation – how times have changed! In the present world, you’re a non-conformist if you are good-looking and smart. Wow!

    Not too long ago, this was the ideal to aim for.

    What’s there left to say? We start from a twisted premise and where are we left to go with it? Kiki, please don’t feel that this needs to be defended in any way.

  8. Trish on May 7, 2008 4:33 pm

    I thought you would be interested in these:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/25764851@N06/2460738368/in/set-72157604854282143/

    She got first place and not only did all of the kids love her project, the adults and judges did as well. Two even wrote on her report that they learned stuff they didn’t know (silly scientists!)

    As you can see from the pictures, each drink was hooked up to a small lightbulb and a battery (To cut down on the possibility of electricution!) which was all her idea. It was a total hit! Thank you again. A million times!!! Our new saying around the house is “Beauty and Brains”…thank you for being such a wonderful role model for her.

  9. Nico on May 9, 2008 10:10 am

    Kiki, I heard you on the Skeptic’s Guide to the Universe, and I thought the way you talk, your ideas, your passion for science and your intelligence were incredibly attractive.
    On top of that, your voice is soft, and very pleasant to hear.
    I made my way over here, and BAM, you’re also gorgeous.

    It’s ok for you to be gorgeous. And it’s ok for you to be (much) smarter than the average babe.

    Keep up the good work 🙂

  10. Geoff Offermann on May 14, 2008 11:13 am

    There’s a song, Four-Eyed Girl, by one of my favorite artists, Rhett Miller, that is an ode of sorts to left-minded women.

    Two of us in a double-feature
    I’m a rock and roller she’s a science teacher
    I send her looks they don’t reach her
    She does not know I’m in love with her
    Later on it’s no better
    She wants to take a walk so I let her
    I watch her go and then I go and get her
    I have to spell it out for her
    La-la-la I’m in love with a four-eyed girl

  11. Marshall on May 15, 2008 4:12 pm

    As the son of a woman who has:

    1. University training as a Geologist and Computer Scientist
    2. Was the highest paid woman at Standard Oil in 1970
    3. Worked for NASA & JPL
    4. Programmed computers back when they used punchcards

    I’ve never had issues with women who are smart. To me it’s the empty-headed uberprimps that are the strange ones.

  12. Scott Hedrick on December 22, 2008 11:03 pm

    Danica McKellar -“Winnie” on “The Wonder Years”. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005211/

    “After that show ended, she went on to graduate Summa cum Laude from UCLA with a degree in Mathematics, and even proved a new math theorem, the Chayes-McKellar-Winn Theorem.”

    Women have brains. Now, I can’t see your brains from across the room. Being a babe certainly helps in getting my attention. However, babeness alone won’t keep it. I’d rather spend more time engaging in meaningful conversation than oggling. Oggling is like Chinese food- an hour later you want more. A stimulating conversation is something to be treasured. A stimulating conversation with a beautiful woman is an exceptional treasure.

  13. Daniël on December 29, 2010 11:27 am

    Beauty and Brains indeed… Smart=sexy, yes sir. I have to agree with all the above. The quote ‘a rock star to my kid, you helped bring her back from Hannah Montana hell!’ has stuck with me ever since I read it. Being a Mama’s Boy with a very smart mother that bought me beautifull space-books, microscopes, model-kits etc etc, but also she got mee all the boyish stuff, that I loved as well, however nerdy I might have grown up… I too frown upon the Girls acting dumb when you know they aren’t. Such a waste !
    Hearing TWIS for the first time I have to admit I just plainly fell in love with your voice, and the very girly playfulness it embodies. Having Justin there making you laugh and be stern from time to time makes it just the more appealing. I would not have stuck to listening every week and searching the internet for all your other endeauvours however if you wouldn’t have been so damn smart. Girly smart. I love that. There’s something about Women in science that is so refreshing from the way most Men approach it that just makes me happy every time I listen to you, Pamela Gay, read the blog from Hanny (you know, from the ‘Voorwerp’ , a country-sister of mine) and I would love to sum up a whole list more, but there’s just so few like you that dare to take the limelight…
    It seems to me Men take the science as a purely cerebral thing, while, at least to me, it’s a thing of total mankind (m/f), heart and guts and brains and balls and all… Every new discovery just gets me all tingling and excited, and somehow most men just don’t get that part of it, while most women do. Thusway it’s just so nice to hear a Woman talk about science, and even better to hear a Woman and a playful broadminded creative girlfriendly guy like Justin (He’s like a big brother when he’s with you, luvvit !) talk science together, with the Girl in charge, ’cause we all know that’s the way it should be in this world… If only Girls could rule the world and decide on who gets the science-grands… What a wonderful world this would be…
    Love you Kiki ! Don’t ever give up on your mission !

  14. Daniël on December 30, 2010 2:16 pm

    PS You’re a Rockstar to me too !

Trackback URI | Comments RSS

Leave a Reply

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

Speak your mind